You probably already know that we won season 3 of "Balss!" which is the Latvian version of "The Voice." Aside from that gratuitous bit of name-dropping, the only important thing about us is that we're like a...a...I don't know, like a damn phoenix, except rather than rising from ashes, we rise from a mountain of maple frosting and bacon-covered long johns. Here are some other "fascinating" things about us:

- We have recorded many songs, mostly about food and monkeys.
- We have played in many states in front of many peoples.
- We have played with some famous bands. We have even eaten some of their steaks. Unwittingly.
- We formed in Fargo in 1990-something. Holy shit! You should have seen all the flannel!
- We were on hiatus from 2000 - 2007, but still sent each other cards. Sometimes they were the cards with the little musical thing on the inside, but not always. This disparity caused some hard feelings.
- Our practice space is flanked by two bands who look at our horns as if they were tools from a spaceship, the sole purpose of which is to inseminate cattle.
- We are working on a concept double-album that will be released on vinyl with a board game. Do you know why? Because when 3 Minute Hero has regenerated from its pile of long johns for the last time, people will say, "Remember when they released a concept double-album on vinyl with a board game?" And from beyond the grave, we shall answer in unison: "Yes. And it was awesome."

And then those people who were talking will soil their cargo shorts.