Sausage Fingers

A Brief Synopsis of Sausage Fingers For Those Unfortunately Unfamiliar.

Dahk-Tore Smoldyface and Tsar-Djent Polnick Peckerhead are from another universe, in an endless sea of alternate realities. Their universe is parallel to our own, so many things are similar, yet different. The majority of life in their universe exists in peace and harmony, in accordance with proverbs passed down by pandimensional, hyperintelligent beings, that most refer to as The Divine Overseers. They are the ones who rescued the young Smoldyface, which is not his original name, from his planet Nafsploit, moments before it was overrun by a vicious species known as the Avo. The Avo wiped out his species, the Dachtyllians, and now very few are left alive. Smoldyface studied and learned almost all there was to know, before he was given the title of Dahk-Tore. Dahk-Tore is a title given only to beings of supreme knowledge, wisdom, and skill. Smoldyface is currently, the only living Dahk-Tore. Dahk-Tore Smoldyface became the Divine’s right hand, seeking out all the mysteries of life, and doing whatever the Divine asked. He was also their chief medic in times of war. This is how he became acquainted with the Klucken clan known as Peckerhead. Kluckens, from the planet Kenfrichi, are born and bred for two purposes: To be soldiers, or to birth those soldiers. They are, for all intents and purposes, the Army of the Divine, but are only called upon when absolutely necessary, otherwise they are merely defenders. War is never a go-to option, only a last resort. There are uncharted pockets of space and creatures always emerge to try and enslave or destroy everyone and their way of life. The Peckerheads, amongst the other clans, have helped keep the peace for as far back as the records show. And the Dahk-Tore has worked alongside many generations of them. Until one fateful day, when a young Polnick Peckerhead was mortally wounded in battle, and the Dahk-Tore revived him, making him half cybernetic. After that, the Tsar-Djent resigned from his military life, which resulted in his people casting him out, and became a pupil of one of the divine. Meanwhile the Dahk-Tore was at the far end of the universe creating a gateway that would bring him into another universe. As fate would have it, these two incidents are intertwined. Tsar-Djent Peckerhead had asked to become an emissary of the divine proverbs. The Divine agreed, on the conditions that he spread the proverbs in the newly discovered universe, so that those beings may enjoy the same tranquility with life they knew, and that he allow the Dahk-Tore to accompany him, so he could assist him and study this unknown reality. The unknown happened to be Smoldyface specialty. The Tsar-Djent agreed, knowing Smoldyface was an old acquaintance of his family, and one of the smartest and most useful beings to ever exist. And the fact that he saved his life. Don’t forget that. But neither one knew what to expect when crossing that dimensional gateway. This new universe was dark and cold, with life spread far and thin amongst the stars. And the Dahk-Tore even said it was a young universe, one that still had the pleasant scent of creation about it. Upon their journeys, they land on a planet called Bangaboom, where the natives, known as Percusitons, chase them away, labeling them heretic and deceiver. But one scientist, Spasmodeus, follows them, across many galaxies until finally he finds that they have crashed on a small planet of dirt in an isolated solar system known as Urth. When he met them, he learned that they were, for the moment, stranded, as this planet didn’t have what they needed to fix their wrecked spacecraft, and any help was extremely far away. It seemed they had decided to take their mission from a planetary approach to a personal approach, and opted to use an Urth media known as mewzik, to spread the message, by forming a band. Spasmodeus thought joining their Urth mewzik project, which they had named Sausage Fingers for some reason, would be a great idea. He would learn from them first hand. So he tore down his own spacecraft to make the most amazing Urth drums ever, but it did not go over as well as he had hoped. But this purple, peppy, perplexing philosopher was still welcomed into the group, where he replaced the living machine drummer, Drummy McSheen, who was never part of the band and I don’t even know what I’m talking about. Shut up. Anyways, now they are trying to spread their message across the Urth, one city at a time, to help evolve the Hoomans on this world into something better: to a higher plane of consciousness. To become one united species living in peace….this is going to take a while.