Frantic Chant

To buy the recent album, Ride It Like A Shark, head to your preferred site iTunes - https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/ride-it-like-a-shark/id878992871 Amazon - http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00KCA4UCW/ref=dm_ws_sp_ps_dp Bandcamp - https://dgab.bandcamp.com/album/ride-it-like-a-shark Bandcamp is the only place you will get the album on CD. Born the bastard son of Country legend Cleetus Pickens and his P.A. Dean Friedman, Stazy packed his bag and thanked his lucky stars that he found an escape in the form of a Pygmy Dance troupe from Russia. This led to international acclaim across Europe and France as the tallest dancing pygmy in Russian history. After ten years of looking down he decided to try his luck in America so repacked his back and moved to Little France with dreams of a bigger France and the perfect band. After a bizarre accident in the garden shed whilst retrieving a windcheater, Colmac broke his neck. He took up the drums during his enforced recuperation period and since then has never looked back. The most politically outspoken of the band, Col is behind a lot of Charitiy work including the recent ‘Lock Up Jim Kerr’ campaign and is currently involved with the ‘Bring Back Curtis Stigers’ campaign which has so far has only seen the return of his sax. In his spare time, Col likes to hook up with Billy Sloan to talk about Sting and that. Cols’ motto is ‘Never shove yer granny when she’s shaving’. Born on the small Scottish island of Musselburgh, previously famous for being the only town Al Jolson stepped foot in during his ‘potato famine awareness’ tour of 1935. O’Hara initially found employment as Mr. Han’s right-hand handyman on the aforementioned Mr. Han’s Han’s Island. After being handed his P45 by Mr. Lee and Mr. Braithwaite he retreated to Southern Italy where he began writing colouring-in books. One evening, while relaxing on his balcony overlooking the Nile, he decided to try his hand at Bass playing. Due to a complete lack of music shops in Italy, and the fact that Bass playing was frowned upon, he cashed in the royalties on his hit novel ‘Tommy the Doms Wizard, deaf, dumb and daft boy, sure plays a mean double-six’ for the first train-flight to Edinburgh. Knock-kneed guitarist Nick Paul, born at an early age in a lonely cattle shed in Memphis, was greeted on his arrival by the Three Wise Men of Chant who upon him bestowed gifts of Yardley Gold, Blue Stratos and, my own personal favourite, Hai Karate. In his late tens, he decide to embark on a long, highly troubled journey down Leith Walk, dressed in his finest Top-Man white suit. In this manner he proceeded up and down the long street singing a selection of David Essex classics. It was during one of these days he was struck by a bottle of White Lightning and when he awoke he held aloft in his hand a solid silver plectrum with the mysterious imprint D.E. embossed on the back. Taking this as a sign he decided to start a band. The rest is his story. Was it fate, or was it meant to be but these four chancers had a dream to change the face of rock n’ roll forever….. and ever! ! FRANTIC CHANT TIMELINE DECEMBER 25TH 1977 Amazingly,all four members of the band were born on this day. OCTOBER 1985 NIK PAUL has his first taste of showbiz as an extra in GI BLUES. JUNE/JULY 1994 OHARA invents worlds first Quadroheaded bass guitar. FEBRUARY 1965 Heavily armed drummer COL MAC joins mythic stroke legendary rythm’n'blues evangelist”Pastor Duke “DUKESY” Dukeworth” on his “Pillow Biters” revue tou! r of the deep south. AUGUST 1958 Stazy first lear! n to pla y the banjo inbetween scenes on movie “Deliverence” where he is Burt Reynalds stuntman. JANUARY 1999 OHARA and NIK PAUL meet while both appearing in the “FAME” movie as a leotard. OCTOBER 1969 STAZY becomes a “PILLOW BITER”, joining the ranks on the Casio. NOVEMBER 2000 “PILLOW BITERS” become “THE TIGERS” after Dukesy follows a career in heavy drug taking and smuggling,which sees him arrested in Dundee. JULY 1967 “THE TIGERS”turn on to LSD and hibernate for thirty days and nights,only to reappear as “FRANTIC CHANT”. AUGUST 2006 After a spell in rehab,Nik Paul is deemed awrite. Band write,record,mix and release psychedelic triumph “YA BASS” in an hour. MARCH 2002 Band board the Optical Express on a ten year long tour of the lower peninsula,with Ohara quitting after only one gig due to arsetistic differences.He is replaced by James Mason for the remainder of the day. APRIL 1997 Band release “WHERE THE CARPET HITS THE CONCRETE” which was number one in America for an amazing 14 years. DECEMBER 20010 Greatest hits album “CHANTHOLOGY;ALL THE HITS AND MORE?” reches no.7 in Afghanistan. JANUARY 1946 Stazy returns fulltime to Stuntmanship,to be replaced by Judy Garland.The band are found out two years later and are tired with treason. JANUARY 1945 STAZY returns when he falls out with Burt Renalds. JULY 1973 Ohara releases solo album “RIPPED OFF!!” a concept album based on the life and times of Peter Sutcliffe,the fifth Beatle. October 1998 COL MAC joins Hue and Cry,Deacon Blue and Hipsway on the “White Sole” tour in aid of hungry fishes. NOVEMBER 2007 Band regroup for Children in need which they watch at Stazy’s house. 2008 Band release “I SEE MUSIC” EP to mass…………………………………………I C Music (I Feel Sound) was an EP that bridged the gap before the soon to be released Lighten Up, Francis was finished. It also smelled of mint. 2009 saw the band expand their musical and spiritual horizons with their introduction to plant food,which,after some initial experiences involving near heart attacks and accidental overdosing,soon became an influential, if somewhat deranged relationship in the Frantic Chant cannon. Lighten Up, Francis was released on Youngteam Records in the summer of 2010 and forced the BBC into bringing back Top Of The Pops for a one off special, but gladly not Simon Bates. TIMELINE REVISITED Some other dates that shouldn..t be forgotton………. 1975 – Col Mac begins research into the connections between spam and time travel. His pioneering work was based on the the fact that spam spelled backwards spells maps, an essential tool for any traveller, time or otherwise. Armed only with his lump of spam for a map and a compass(for drawing circles on the aforementioned spam) he set off to find 1723. 1723 – Col Mac finds 1723 1921 – Col Mac loses 1723 somewhere outside Stoke On Trent 1985 – Col Mac realises he..s frittered away 10 years of his life. 1985 – O..Hara’s chip shop in Kircaldy is burnt to the ground after someone left the pan on. All that remained was a Mars Bar that had fallen in some batter and he had unwittingly invented Scotlands national dish, but the name of it escapes me for the moment. 1960 – Nik Paul invents The Beatles. 2005 – Stazy is the new voice of Foghorn Leghorn beating off stiff competition from Nick Hayward, Jimmy Saville, Brad Pitt, Barbera Windsor and Casey Casem. 1999 – All four lads are joined by luminaries such as Richard Madely, Gareth Gates, Lorraine Kelly, Peter Andre, Mike Yarwood and Paul Coia for the recording of An Audience With……John Kettley. The weather was lovely if i remember right. Did you know………. O’Hara lost his pet monkey in Hartlepool in 1875?……………Nik Paul’s moustache died of shock in 1978 when Scotland didn’t win the world cup. He later sued Ally Mcleod for tens of pounds…………in 1973 Col Mac was fired from his starring role in Harry and The Hendersons after securing an advertising deal with Gillette……..back in 2009 Stazy lost an ear while worming his pet dog, “Snatch”. He now has several false ones in the style of his favourite celebrities. His stage ear is modelled on that of Sydney Devine……….While in Dundee 4 years later in 2001 Stazy lost his big tay in the toe……..2007 Nik Paul is mown down by a runaway patrickmower and thrust backwards in time. He finds himself in the 70..s partnering Gene Simmons in the Eurovision Song Contest. Terry Wogan still owes him a tenner for a bet involving a rolled up bank note, two pots of potted herring and a peck of pickled peppers………1066 O’Hara realises that cream alway! s rises to the top and promptly buys some new socks………2006 Col Mac’s Vietnamese cleaner Nigel packs her bags and says she can’t work in those conditions. Col Mac later moves out of Amy Winehouse. Nigel went on to work for Queen’s Roger Taylor. She was sacked after asking for Nick Rhodes’ autograph. Nigel now works for Jeremy Clarkson as his leather jacket………1977 O’Hara, inspired by the Queens Cola Jubilee, invents the Lumberjacket and is immortalised in a Monty Python sketch. About cats……..in 1967 Stazy’s 10 day stay at Mandy Sands Caravan Park, East Lothian is cut short by a day after an infestation of transvestites. He never fully recovers………….1984 at the height of Britpop, Nik Paul is invited to a party by the,then Prime Minister, Tony Blair at 10 Downing Street. Unfortunately the lipstick Tony used to write down the address washes off in the shower and Nik never arrives. Should have taken that lift from Frank Gallacher off Oasis…………O’Hara‘s one man show was axed by London Weekend Television after 73! episodes in 1981 while viewing figures were at an all time high of 22 million. No reason was ever given but rumours were abound that O’Hara was about to be cast in Dallas as Digger Barnes and LWT wouldn’t be messed around. His shows obvious influence on Hancocks Half Hour proves that had it remained he could’ve been as big as Nick Hancock himself. New album on the horizon,its bublin away tryin to get out…”not yet” says the fireman,”time is like an opal fruit”.The tunes are there.the money isnae.a couple eh jigs should sort that;.whostood on shite? we’ll get big john again,he kens the score.the jester merrilly awaits his fate.the band are in the corner polishin up there buckels,while distantly in the background the noise of a deaf horse clippin his wifes mane,rolls across the pain. Psychedelicious Rock`n`Roll