Starwood

Mission Statement And Brief Historical Background: Sent back in time from Planet Vitrus moments before the planet’s destruction, S.T.A.R.W.O.O.D. prototype G7ANGEL591S: “Gabriel Starwood” was created to alter the time continuum in an attempt to control the hysterically blood-lusting Pathonians, intergalactic cosmos devourers and the eventual destroyers of Vitrus. Traveling back in time to an era predating Pathonian evolution, the S.T.A.R.W.O.O.D. prototype offered various technologies to the planet's primitive inhabitants while espousing the earliest religious beliefs known to man, garnering absolute control over the budding primitive societies as a result. After the social installation of "Magical Thought" (also known as the root of Religious Belief) in what would later be known as "the pre-historic era," Gabriel's next significant act was the invention of language, followed by the naming of the planet, currently known as "Earth." Though his control extends to all living creatures previously inseminated with his nanite ejaculate, Gabriel's "Main Host Body" (or “Avatar”) serves as the sole inseminator, the only avatar capable of expanding Starwood's network of controllable bodies. The "Main Host Body," currently an unemployed 29yr old West Philadelphian entertainer, will remain inhabited by the S.T.A.R.W.O.O.D. Yocto Central Processing Unit until the body is found lacking in usefulness, after which the CPU will find yet another "Main Host Body" to inhabit. From the pre-evolutionary period to the current date in space and time, "Main Host Bodies" have had an incalculable impact on human existence, past and present. The names of previous "Main Host Bodies" throughout history include, but are far from limited to: Nikola Tesla, Albert Hoffman, Otis Redding, Angela Davis, Marquis De Sade, Olivia Newton John, Lewis Carol, Aldous Huxley, Keith Moon, Peter Jennings, Timothy Leary, Che Guevara, William Burroughs, Emmy Lou Harris, Spartacus, David Lynch, Warren Buffet, Robert Crum, Jimi Hendrix, Doc Ellis, Harry Houdini, Herschel Walker, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Abraham Lincoln, Montezuma, Hammurabi, Hannibal Barca, Cunobelin, Ramesses II, Friedrich Barbarossa, Alexander the Great, Tokugawa Ieyasu, Genghis Khan, Xerxes, Jean-Paul Marat, Michael Moore, Sitting Bull, Philip I, Philip II, Canute, Shaka Zulu, Rasputin, Alistair Crowley, Louis Riel, Queen Isabella I, Sun Tzu, Elvis Pressley, Simone de Beauvoir, Muhammad, James Crapper, Isaac Newton, Jesus Christ, Alicia Silverstone, Buddha, Confucius, St. Paul, Ts'ai Lun, Johann Gutenberg, Christopher Columbus, Joe Dimaggio, Virginia Woolf, Albert Einstein, Louis Pasteur, Galileo Galilei, Aristotle, Euclid, Moses, Charles Darwin, Shih Huang Ti, Augustus Caesar, Nicolaus Copernicus, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, David Bowie, Mary Pickford, Leni Riefenstahl, Katharine Hepburn, Charles De Gaulle, Billie Jean King, Princess Diana, Zara Yaqob, Lucille Ball, Oprah Winfrey, Antoine Laurent Lavoisier, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Constantine the Great, James Watt, Bea Arthur, Genghis Khan, Adam Smith, Edward de Vere (William Shakespeare), John Dalton, Napoleon Bonaparte, Harry Truman, Thomas Edison, Antony van Leeuwenhoek, William T.G. Morton, Guglielmo Marconi, Plato, Pacal II, Oliver Cromwell, Alexander Graham Bell, Alexander Fleming, John Locke, Ludwig van Beethoven, Werner Heisenberg, Louis Daguerre, Jean Michele Basquiat, Simon Bolivar, Rene Descartes, Michelangelo, Umar ibn al-Khattab, Asoka, Harriet Tubman, Kid Rock, St. Augustine, William Harvey, Ernest Rutherford, John Calvin Protestant, Gregor Mendel, Max Planck, Joseph Lister, Nikolaus August Otto, Martin Luther King Jr, Margaret Mead, Jane Addams, Susan B. Anthony, William the Conqueror, Laurence Fishburne, Sigmund Freud, Edward Jenner, Wilhelm Conrad Roentgen, Johann Sebastian Bach, Lao Tzu, Voltaire, Johannes Kepler, Enrico Fermi, Leonhard Euler, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Nicoli Machiavelli, Mary Wollstonecraft, Thomas Malthus Anglican, Gregory Pincus, Mani Manicheanism, Lenin, Sui Wen Ti, Vasco da Gama, Paul Simon, Peter the Great, Rosa Parks, Mao Zedong, Francis Bacon, Zoroaster, Queen Elizabeth I, Menes, Homer, Justinian I, Mahavira, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Joan of Arc, Michael Faraday, James Clerk Maxwell, Rasputin, Martin Luther, Coco Chanel, George Washington, Karl Marx, Orville Wright, Wilbur Wright, Eleanor Roosevelt, Marie Curie, Margaret Sanger, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, John Lenin, The Virgin Mary, Georgia O'Keeffe, Frances Perkins, Jane Austen, Mary Harris "Mother" Jones, Helen Keller, Anne Sullivan, Sojourner Truth, Florence Nightingale, Karen Horney, Angelina Grimke, Mansa Musa, Sarah Moore Grimke, Elizabeth Blackwell, George Eliot, Ida Bell Wells-Barnett, Betty Friedan, Rachel Carson, Ella Baker, Hannah Arendt, Mother Teresa, Melanie Klein, Emily Dickinson, Golda Meir, Queen Victoria, Martha Graham, Zora Neale Hurston, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Rosa Luxemburg, Mary McLeod Bethune, Charlotte Bronte, Emily Bronte, Catherine the Great, Carrie Chapman Catt, Thomas Jefferson, Jane Goodall, Emma Goldman, Candace Bergen, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Grace Murray Hopper, Barbara McClintock, Gertrude Stein, Indira Gandhi, Louise Nevelson, Emrneline Pankhurst, Dorothea Lange, Agnes De Mille, Sappho, Nadia Boulanger, Gwendolyn Brooks, Maria Montessori, Marian Anderson, Anne Frank, Babe Didrikson Zaharias, Margaret Thatcher, Mary Cassatt, Sarah Bernhardt, Julius Caesar, Aung San Suu Kyi, Amelia Earhart, John F. Kennedy, Murasaki Shikibu, Toni Morrison, Gloria Steinem, Cyrus the Great, Christine de Pisan, Margaret Bourke-White, Frida Kahlo, Gabriela Mistral, Flannery O'Connor, Xerxes, Miles Davis, Katharine Graham, Charlemagne, Bessie Smith, Joan Ganz Cooney, Cleopatra, Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis, Sandra Day O'Connor, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Jessie Redmon Fauset, Wu Chao, Billie Holiday, Marilyn Monroe, Frances Willard, Michael Jordan, and Mikhail Gorbachev. [SuRReNDeR IGNorEd]...[mAss dESTRucTion IMmEDiatE]...[ANniHiLAtion iMmIneNT]...