Then Came Bronson

Then Came Bronson is a band from Helsinki, Finland. This outfit is a wild mixture of dirty blues rock and genuine street punk flair. They have also achieved notoriety for their vocalist`s exceptional stage costume and unusual performance. TCB released their first album "Damn Sure Pilot!" in the Fall of 2011. For Bastards & Whores, The Short Story of Then Came Bronson so far.. Around year 2010: "Hot Rod Stewart" is a starting point of our story, man of many talents and he truly is one of the last beatnicks for sure. His taste is dirty as is his soul, weary, worn and dirty but still thirsty & lacks for more. He was born with a guitar in his hands and got his instrument tuned at the crossroads at the age of 13. Hot Rod Stewart had been on a world tour of his own for 25 years guided by his black but gentle heart. The women, booze and all the substances in the world have not put out his fire to get more, more of "something". His favorite words are: "It`s not enough! " . One of his lonely trips he started to look for a company of totally different kind after having a dream from Peyote where a huge vagina told him to start a rock band. When Hot Rod met "Ave Sathanas" in a speakeasy at Mexico City Hot Rod was sure this was the first step to take, he told about his vision asking to join him in. Vision was a blurry one cos` all the different "medication" that Stewart was on. Anyway Ave Sathanas was totally ready and told he was been waiting for this kind of opportunity to appear, he said: " This could be the divine intervention I have been waiting for! " They sealed a deal with a bottle of rum and other suitable narcotics. Ave Sathanas is a man who has been riding towards any kind of obscenities all his life. At the age of 3 his favorite movie was Salo by Pasolini and his love for coffee changed to hard liquor for too early on. Crimes of this man are too long and complex to put in a nutshell but let`s say he lost his green color in a penitentiary at very early age. The couple headed to a trip of no return. There was no memories but one to tell the offspring. On the way back from their next destination the Holy Mountain to seek spiritual guidance from the ancient gods (ancient herbs) they find a dying looking hobo sleeping on a sidewalk. They got the man up with a zip of hooch(homemade whisky) and surely when the drunkard opened his bloodshot eyes they knew this meeting was not coincidence! In the eyes of this stinking bastard they could see a blue flame, a flame of degenerate royalty. The couple was sure this was the third unholy piece to this puzzle. The hobo introduced himself as "King Malmio" and told he had been living on the streets since day one. He was a child without roots, a total outsider with a gaze of promise. With a spark of new enthuasism the men headed to nearest bar to start up their fellow mans engines and wake him up for good. While the night developed through discussion about their future together and how to stay alive with their limited health, men noticed that a music performance was about to start. There was a totally drunken band with only a drummer possibly sober. The band started to play, it was a horrible excuse for blues, only the drummer could actually play and boy he played well! There was a jazzy tune on his beating and he made our intoxicated trio feel unexplainable bestial urges. Our trio went immediately to look for some ladies and came back almost satisfied before the set was finished. They got the drummers interest with fine plate of good ol` mexican food and you could tell the man have not been eaten for days. Little by little this hungry but vivid drummer started to open up. He told wild stories when his band was playing like a dream and life was good. However some voodoo ritual or evil eye had been cast on their singer. After that the whole thing had been like a drunken boat or a sinking ship to say the least. The skeleton looking drummer was called "Van Zorn" and he had a history of atrocities. He told he got the strength of beating drums like a maniac for bashing skulls in his early life. Van Zorn use to be a violent case in his past and his true passion was torture and rape, but said he had clean his desk and started a new life without drugs and alcohol. Nobody believed him and nobody cared, there was a fire within and the trio welcomed Van Zorn warmly to take a new step and leave all behind. They asked him to join in and promised to lead him to the true virtues . Van Zorn was immediately hooked in and all went like in a fairy tale except one thing. Van Zorn told the cursed singer of the band was his brother and he have to take the bastard along. So the story got an awkward twist. The guy was called "The Last Cry" because of his urge for saving the world and creating a new world order. Truly a man with great depth in his heart. As anyone could see this guy was on a side path now and needed some new shit for his veins and brains. His visions at younger age were fantastic and he was a great storyteller. when he was sober he really truly believed to be some kind of messiah. Van Zorn told his brother used to be a juvenile of worst kind. From burglaries to batteries, knife fights to robberies, he knew it all. Anyway Last Cry had sometimes a nice tune on his blues when he could sit on his chair and really concentrate. He was a recycler of classic blues lyrics and he used them like no care in the world. Anyway group had to decide will they let the possibility of curse to sneak in their unholy union and ruin their sacred goal. They decided to take their chances with the evil eye and perform an old ritual to release the fucker out of his misery. So our strike force was now 5 bastards with quite interesting backgrounds. They head it to the deep jungles of Amazon to perform an ancient Ayahuasca ritual to get rid of the curse and seal their fate as a successful rock band. The ritual is thousands of years old and there is no better way to get rid of old demons than this. They went to the shaman after a long and very intoxicated journey, paid him and kindly asked to prepare the ritual to all of them, just to be sure they are not haunted by the same demons as the bastard himself. The shaman told that all 5 are too weak to take part and they had to eat a mountain of chocolate before he can prepare the holy ritual for them. Shaman`s assistant had a huge black pot filled with warm chocolate and his body was totally stained by it. Men started to laugh and Ave Sathanas said the guy was like from his favorite movie and he`s not gonna eat anything that looks so much like shit. Everybody laughed like the crooked men they were but then the cook said that the only way to perform the ritual goes thru this chocolate. The stained man left and went to his tree house. The men started to hear some really low tunes. There were a dead silence among the men and finally all shouted like from the same mouth: "TzadamnisaBass!" and started to eat the chocolate like beasts. Shaman clapped his hands together and whispered: " Finally my son has found his place in this world". This choco-stained man was called simply: "Sick", by the elders.They had named him for his wild character. He use to chop uninvited guests with his machete and make really special kind of chocolate soup for the whole community. Nice guy and a perfect match to our wild punch. After the ritual and some tribe meetings the game was set and our now 6 lovely creatures started their journey to be the best and most dangerous rock band so far. Epilogue: So if you find some body parts in your chocolate, you know at least somebody in this magical group has find his true mission in this stinking world. And if the gods are favorable be prepared to hear some lovely music too! www.tcbronson.com