Doug Shea

Most of the time, in order to move forward with God’s will for your life, you have to surrender all you think you are. It was in that spirit that Doug Shea birthed his latest album, Where Truth Meets Grace. With a pride filled heart, Doug caused a train wreck of pain among every person he came into contact with. I was trying to find my significance in everything but the person who could give it to me. I was suffering from a mental illness and family traumas that plunged me into addictions and deep abysmal places. That mindset, compounded with touring nationally, working with famous industry people and performing with dozens of huge musical acts was a recipe for destruction. Not only for myself, but for those around me. It began in a Pennsylvania hotel room as I looked into the mirror and asked myself the question, “Who are you?” He began to pray, to seek out and listen to the few friends who refused to give up on his soul and faith. Amidst this life change process, the band was on the rise, and Shea met his soon-to-be wife, Monica. That’s when God literally spoke to me. God gave me a five second vision. A choice - Him or the world. I know it sounds crazy, but I knew that if I chose the world, I would have had every success I was working for. But I also knew I would never know God. To this day, I don’t know where it came from, because I had very little faith, if any. But I made a choice in that moment, in a split second, from a deep place in my heart. I chose God.” Everything the vision predicted happened in accordance with Shea’s choice. The band called it quits few years later, Doug and Monica were married and a job came out of the band’s fan base. He became a music director for a church. This wasn’t a typical happy ending scenario. The choice I made also promised great hardship. God was working, but He had a lot of work to do in me. I was still wrestling with many things. I was prideful, angry, far from living a life for Jesus and basically, trying to fill holes in my life that were meant to be filled by Him. I had accepted Jesus, but my identity in Him was being blinded by my failings. This led to some of the darkest places I had ever been. I truly believe, if it wasn’t for God using my lead pastor, and my wife and a few select friends reaching out at key moments, I would not be here today. Extreme hardship fell upon Doug’s family, including the death of Monica’s father. I hadn’t written anything in years. I felt I only wanted to write for God, but I couldn’t because I felt filthy. But when I herd my wife weeping in the next room about her father and crying out, “Why?” something happened. I started to write an album based on Psalm 109. I admired how open and honest David was with his Father and I wanted that also. In 2010, “Elegy of Me” was released, a two-way, open and honest conversation between God and myself. Shea’s life, in small ways, started aligning more and more with a life that reflected Jesus. The “Elegy of Me” album carried Shea to performing at churches and sharing his faith story in between each song. Heartfelt transparency would explain how each song applied to his walk with Christ. This was when I began to understand how God valued me, and the great lengths the Father was going through to bring me back to His arms. Although I fell into those dark places less often, I was still wrestling. I hadn’t fully given it over to God. Then it happened. I was driving, feeling alone and desperately wanting my life to be over. I was in such agony - utter despair and sadness. Tears filled my eyes as I screamed at the top of my lungs to Jesus ‘Take it away! Take it away! You promised, and you can’t break your word!’ I must have screamed ‘take it away’ dozens of times. Bible passages of all God’s promises to His children flashed through my thoughts. As I was screaming, sobbing, completely broken and surrendering all I had, I felt Him. It was like a huge cloud of tangible love poured down upon me. It was the most beautiful, peaceful, exciting, electrifying and intense sensation coursing though my whole body. I felt all the filth being ripped out, like weeds from wet grass. Anger, depression, addictions, mental illness and everything in between were gone. You may say I’m crazy, but here’s a fact: I have never suffered from any of those things since. Not once! They’re not in me any more, they’ve been replaced by a loving God who I can feel everyday living inside me. I’ll never forget seeing the look on my wife’s face when I walked through the door that day. Monica had spent years with an emotionally unstable man. She looked at me so elated, as if she saw the man she married for the first time. The first words out of her mouth were, “What happened to you?” From that day, everything about me changed, because I had an encounter with Holy Spirit. “Where Truth Meets Grace” is about that six-year journey from that point until now. In 2013, Shea released a four-song demo EP entitled “Kingdom Bridges.” These songs, in my mind, were my way of asking God, “Do you want me to do this?” I knew God wanted me to work for His kingdom, although I wasn’t confident where. The next three years would be a series of tests. Would Doug follow wherever God led him, even if it put him in uncomfortable or painful situations? Those years were very hard. God was doing some deep work in me. God put me into some situations that were very unpleasant, but this time, I had a peace inside me. There were challenges, hard challenges, but I knew Jesus was walking right next to me through them all. I was in a circle of quiet. A deeper readjustment inside me happened when I saw a Darren Wilson documentary film entitled, “Finger of God.” After my experiences and seeing others on Darren’s films, I knew there had to be more and prayed to witness it personally. I started seeing miraculous healings, deliverance and hearing God’s voice more. I understand that sounds crazy, but I know what I experienced. This is why I feel it’s so important to see Darren’s films, and why his documentaries tie so deeply into my journey, Where Truth Meets Grace. In a way, his films became the catalyst to initiate an entire chain of songwriting sessions based on a list of experiences. From 2013 through 2016, Shea focused everything on finding God’s will for his life. Once again, it happened. I had another experience of being overwhelmed by God’s Spirit while driving. I had to pull over in a parking lot just to receive it because it was so powerful. I sat there as I felt my arm, in the spirit, reach into my heart and pull out my dream of playing original music. The next thing I knew, my dream was in my hand and my arm was outstretched to the heavens. I felt God gently pulling my dream out of my hand. But He wouldn’t take it until I let go. After a few gentle tugs by God, I did just that, I let it go. After that, it was a time of deep pruning in my life. I couldn’t write music anymore. But a pastoral ministry emerged in the process. Baptizing people, speaking messages, ministering a Christ- centered wedding and personal conversations, almost daily, as I watched Jesus use me to lead people to His heart. I had no idea these were the stories that would stir this album. I actually came to a place where I felt God no longer wanted me to write music. The most beautiful thing about it was that, in my heart of hearts, I was happy about it! Then, I specifically heard Him say He needed me to write a song. The next couple of months were a struggle musically. I argued with God daily on how He had so many better-qualified people out there for this job. But my arguments were put to rest. I’ll never forget the words I audibly heard, “I qualify who’s qualified.” Almost immediately, the outpouring of songs for this album commenced. But the battle for the album was far from over. Due to continuous challenges in the studio, the album was pushed back by 10 months. I couldn’t believe it, almost every challenge you could imagine and some you couldn’t fathom happened. It was like the album had a target on it’s back, and yet, I still had His peace. I knew the album would get released in God’s perfect time. I could feel His hand all over it. In mid-production of the album, God also called Doug to Willow Drive Baptist Church in Lake Jackson, Texas, to serve as the new worship and outreach pastor. Talk about something I never saw coming. Move 1,200 miles away from everyone I know and the majority of my album support? But if this journey has taught me anything, it’s to trust God with every aspect of myself. If you ever doubt God is alive and working miracles in the world today, come and talk to me about my call from Wisconsin to Texas. It was joyfully crazy! But that’s a story for another time. See the rest at www.DougShea.com Just a humble guy who writes music for the Kingdom.